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Skeletons in the Closet || When you marry, you choose to carry


Skeletons in the closet

  • When you get married, you bring your skeletons with you


Some skeletons come as a surprise

  • Come have been visible since day one, but ignored
  • Some are put there throughout the relationship

Important Statements on Marriage:


Marriage is one of the most worthwhile endeavors that God has given us

  • He chose to compare it to himself and the church
  • It is a gift
  • The family is one of the most important elements in  creation


Also the most intense human relationship

  • Very rewarding, but very difficult
  • Just because it is difficult does not mean it’s not worth it


Biblical Marriage is between a man and a woman

Genesis 2:24-25

24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh. 25 Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.


Marriage is about making us Holy, not just Happy

Christian Marriage makes us more like Jesus


Christian Marriage:

  • Is Self-Sacrificing (Not about you)
  • Is Compassionate towards one another
  • Contains Deep Love
  • Runs off of Honor and Respect

Want to leave you with this main Idea:

When you marry, You choose to carry

  • One flesh


First, Let’s talk about Dating:

What is the purpose of dating?

Have a good time

  • Getting to know someone
  • Learn likes and dislikes
  • Conflict resolution


Ultimately, dating should be a season in which two people seek God for their individual future and if it is His will for their futures to be intertwined


Important Need to knows about dating:


1 – Do not try and “date them into the kingdom of God”

  • If they are an unbeliever, then you should not marry them
  • If they have real issues, you cannot change them
  • If you see red flags, don’t ignore them (skeletons in the closet)


2 – 
Marriage is a magnifier

  • What is good, can be great
  • What is bad, can get worse


Now let’s talk about Marriage:
There are no perfect marriages

  • Because there are no perfect people


When you marry, You choose to carry


Bear one other’s burdens


Galatians 6:2

Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.


What is the law of Christ?

  • To love God and others as yourself


Each of you comes to marriage with your own issues, past, mistakes, etc…


But what is the purpose of marriage?

Marriage is about making us Holy, not just Happy


How do we carry one another?


Carry each other in…

1 – Contentment


Proverbs 5:15-20

15 Drink water from your own cistern, water flowing from your own well.

16 Should your springs flow in the streets, streams in the public squares?

17 They should be for you alone and not for you to share with strangers.

18 Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth.

19 A loving deer, a graceful doe—let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever.

20 Why, my son, would you lose yourself with a forbidden woman or embrace a wayward woman?

  • Do not desire the marriage of another nor the spouse of another
  • Don’t be in love with an idea of the future that may not be possible, but pursue the one God has put in front of you.


Contentment helps you see each other as a blessing instead of as an obstacle to each other’s happiness


Carry each other in…

2 – Transparency


James 5:16

16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.
When there is a sin, confess and move on

  • You will both mess us


Sin Separates
Transparency is built on good communication


Marriage is two very different people moving forward together


Transparency helps you to stay together as you move together

  • Share hopes and dreams about the future
  • Feelings about where you are currently in life
  • Connect regularly


Carry each other in…

3 – Humility

Ephesians 5

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.

28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.


To truly love someone is to move past yourself


The only way to do this is to humble yourself

  • You are not your own when you get married
  • you are bound to do, one with the other


Many marriages fail simply because pride makes it impossible for spouses to truly love and respect each other


When you marry, You choose to carry

  • Carry each other’s burdens
  • Carry one other why one is weak
  • Build each other up because the world is constantly tearing down

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