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Skeletons in the Closet: The Facts of Forgiveness


Facts Don’t Care About Feelings



Feelings sayWant to eat what I want when I want without consequence

Facts SayI will have to buy new clothes

Feelings sayI want that new car/tv/boat/clothes

Facts sayI will be living in a tent when they all get repossessed

Feelings sayI want to tell people what I think when they are being stupid

Facts sayI won’t have friends and will probably get hit in the face

Feelings say – I am right in every argument with my wife

Facts say – I am hardly EVER right in arguments with my wife


Just because I feel a certain way about something doesn’t make it true


The same is true within our relationship with God


Our relationship with God contains both FACTS and FEELINGS

  • Often the feeling get overrun by the facts

Getting past your past so your past doesn’t become your future


The cycle of fear and shame

How our past can define us

  • Your past is not your name


This has all been about allowing God to handle our skeletons

  • We cannot do it alone


When we talk about forgiveness, we are usually referring to feelings

Forgiveness happens in two ways

  • In (Ourselves)
  • Out (Others)


1: First let’s talk about Forgiving Yourself


Our Feelings Say:

I will never be able to forgive myself or move past my past


Sounds like…

  • Feeling unworthy
  • being reckless your life/decisions
  • Low self-esteem


Not forgiving yourself of your mistakes prevents you from living in the present or expecting a better future

  • Makes it impossible to move past your past


Facts don’t care about feelings…


Facts Say: Jesus’ sacrifice is greater than your sin



Romans 4

25 He was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification.

The word delivered literally means that he was taken into custody in order to be judged. He was judged by God and took the sentence for our guilt so that we could be free.
2 Corinthians 5

21 He made the one who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.



John 3

16 For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.



1 Peter 3

18 For Christ also suffered for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring you to God. He was put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit


In Christ, we have been forgiven.

  • You don’t need to hold onto your own sin
  • We can forgive ourselves and walk in the freedom of his forgiveness
  • We need a proper view of the cross. Don’t let regret/shame try and cheapen it


Don’t pick back up what God has taken off of you

  • Don’t hold onto what God has forgiven you for


More Facts:

  • You are worthwhile
  • You are forgiven
  • You are redeemed
  • You are made right with God
  • You are loved by God
  • You have been purchased with Christ’s life


Don’t let guilt tie you to your mistakes
How to stay free:

  • Godly Community
  • Clear Boundaries (Do not keep sinning. If so, you are still under it’s weight)


2: Let’s Talk About Forgiving Others

Our Feelings Say:

I can’t forgive them because it will mean they win


Do you know why forgiveness is hard?

Because Forgiveness Is Costly


Forgiveness actually cost you something
When someone wrongs you, they are taking from you…

  • Your peace
  • Your joy
  • Your self worth
  • Your childhood
  • Your marriage
  • Your Dreams

We don’t want forgiveness, we want justice or revenge

  • They deserve what’s coming to them
  • They should be paid back for the pain they caused


Facts don’t care about feelings…

Facts Say:

Unforgiveness and bitterness are poison to every area of your life


Ephesians 4

31 Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.


Walking around with the weight of Unforgiveness lessens your ability to trust in the future

  • I’ve already been hurt before
  • They remind me of the one who hurt me
  • I can only depend on myself

Unforgiveness only exists in hell. So if you want to experience hell now to choose to live in unforgiveness.


Hebrews 12

15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled


Facts Don’t Care About Feelings
So here are the facts:

  • God has forgiven you through Christ Jesus – Fact
  • You cannot out sin God’s grace – Fact
  • You can be freed of the weight of guilt – Fact
  • God can give you the strength to forgive those who hurt you – Fact
  • You can trust again – Fact
  • Forgiving others does not make you weak – Fact


Matthew 11

28 “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”


The “yoke” of unforgiveness

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