Act Like Men | Men And Fatherhood | Cornerstone Church

1 Corinthians 16:13-14

13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.

When men step into their purpose, everything flourishes.

Where they refuse, everything burns.

Today is about:

Men and Fatherhood

Daddy Issues

A common trope
But when we look at the stats, it’s no wonder…

When fathers are Involved, children are:

80% less likely to spend time in jail
75% less likely to experience teen pregnancy

Children in father-absent homes account for:

71% of all high school dropouts
90% of homeless and runaway children
63% of youth suicides

Becoming an engaged dad has benefits for fathers, too:

Engaged dads set goals and achieve greater success
Healthy habits become more important
Self-esteem increases as dads see their value

Becoming a good dad doesn’t happen overnight

It takes:

Honesty (About yourself and your past/own father)

Community (Learning from other good dad

Strong Faith (Christlike)

Let’s start with

Some things a father is NOT:

1: A Father is NOT a Friend

A parent’s primary responsibility is to EQUIPT their child for adulthood

A child needs from their parents:

Direction
Discipline
Wisdom

Being your child’s “FRIEND” keeps this from happening

What this can look like:

Making your child your Confidant
Criticizing your child’s school, teacher, and leaders in front of them
Placing the discipline role on the other spouse
Not allowing proper separation when your child is in adolescence

One day, kids will need a friend in their father, but they need a father FIRST

They can have other friends, but you are their only father

2: A Father is NOT only Harsh

Nurture vs. Nature

Moms are the nurture
Dads are the nature

May be some truth in that, but children need nurturing fathers as well

Ephesians 6:4

Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they won’t become discouraged.

This verse means:

A father is not to foster negativity in his children by severity, injustice, partiality, or unreasonable exercise of authority
Harsh, unreasonable conduct toward a child will only serve to nurture evil in the heart.

STIR UP/EXASPERATE:

to irritate, rub the wrong way, or incite

Discipline is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY

How it is done MATTERS

Christian fathers should discipline in Strength and Love

Strength:

Sure of what your child needs to know
Help them overcome faults
Teach them the responsibilities of adult life

Love:

Always constructive
Understanding time and place
Each child is different
Demonstrating grace and forgiveness

<<NOTE>>

Moms, don’t let dad be the only one to discipline the children

Stand by what he says
Don’t undermine his decisions

THE PRIMARY ROLES OF A CHRISTIAN FATHER

A father’s primary role is to:

1: Represent Jesus to your children

Their first understanding of God will come from you

Their view of “FATHER” with come from you

Proverbs 22:6

6 Start a youth out on his way; even when he grows old he will not depart from it.

This verse points to TEACHING

Not just hopeful thinking

Kids learn by what they SEE

Not just what we tell them

Old Christian song

“Let me be just like you because he wants to be like me”

Your PERSONAL faith is so important because you are to represent the following:

Love
Forgiveness
Of Jesus to your family

So I challenge you like Joshua did the People of Israel long ago:
Joshua 24

14 “Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

Practical Tips:

Teach your children how to pray
Living your Christian faith out practically
Admit when wrong
Demonstrate faith

A father’s primary role is to:

2: Love Their mother well

A famous quote:

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

Important for a few reasons:

Teaches kids that Marriage is the FOUNDATION of the family
Teaches Sons how to love their wives
Teaches Daughters how they should be loved by their husbands

Practical Tips:

Never allow kids to come in between you and your spouse
Date Your Spouse
Let them see you SACRIFICE for her

A father’s primary role is:

3: Prepare your kids for the world they will live in

The world is changing

Not the world you grew up in, but the one they will inherit

Here’s a hard truth

Something/Someone WILL disciple your kids

Make sure it is YOU
Culture WILL trying

We must prepare them for their future

For Christian faith (being a light)
For marriage
For parenting

Psalm 127

3 Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
For an arrow to hit its target, it takes:

INTENTIONALITY & FOCUS

Intentionality: Being deliberate
Focus: Keeping the end in mind

Practical Tips:

Be a student of culture

Be able to communicate what culture is actually preaching
Help them learn proper discernment of ideas

Keep proper tabs on your kids

Friends
What they watch
Where they go

Teach them how to communicate and “Defend” their Christian faith

Many kids walk away from the faith when they go to college
Give them a strong foundation now