LIFE IS FULL OF PHASES
- Seasons
- Some good
- Some bad
- Some hard
- Some easy
Over the next several weeks, we will discuss these phases:
- Singleness
- Dating and newly Married
- Raising a Family
- Empty Nester
- Golden Years
How to Thrive in each phase
- How to be faithful to God in each phase
Each phase has:
- Opportunities
- Challenges
Today is about THRIVING IN SINGLENESS
- Always been single
- Single Again
- Widowed
1: The Challenges of Singleness
Key Challenges are:
- Loneliness
- Jealousy
- Not Belonging in certain spaces
- Fear of being alone forever
- Purpose
- Temptation
Feeling like life hasn’t worked out like you wanted
- Disappointment
- Frustration
- Anger
- Loss
Different life stages bring about different experience stages
- Single in 20 vs in 50s/60s
A significant challenge is how our culture determines how singleness is viewed:
A: Western cultures value autonomy and individualism
- Your needs, desires, sense of self are the MOST IMPORTANT
- Seen in larger cities
From this view, Singleness isn’t seen as a negative
You have to watch out for yourself first
B: Eastern Cultures value Family and Community
- Your identity is given to you through your role and relationships in the family
- This can be seen in older generations or smaller communities
From this view, singleness is seen as negative because the FAMILY is the MOST IMPORTANT
2: A Biblical Theology of Singleness
1 Corinthians 7
8 I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am. 9 But if they do not have self-control, they should marry, since it is better to marry than to burn with desire.
Paul promotes singleness as a good thing
- He is single
Several others in scripture are single:
- Mary
- Martha
- Lazarus
- Anna in the temple
- Jeremiah in the OT
- Jesus
Paul makes an important statement
Maintaining celibacy is an important aspect of living a single life that honors God.
- If you cannot stay celibate, then get married
- You are not in God’s will or design when having sex outside of a marriage covenant
- More on dating and sex next week…
1 Corinthians 7
26 Because of the present distress, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 However, if you do get married, you have not sinned, and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.
Elsewhere, Paul celebrates marriage (Eph. 5)
- Bible celebrate marriage
- Is Paul talking about both sides of his mouth?
Sounds like Paul is having a bad day…
- What he says next will help us understand his view…
Paul’s explanation…
1 Corinthians 7
29 This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time is limited, so from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none, 30 those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they didn’t own anything, 31 and those who use the world as though they did not make full use of it. For this world in its current form is passing away.
Paul is working out a powerful Idea of KINGDOM THEOLOGY
Time is limited…
- It doesn’t just mean that Jesus is coming back soon, Although it certainly does
Many thought that when the messiah showed up, he would bring in the kingdom of God
- Jesus did, just not in the way that everyone thought
But the messiah does not come back once, but TWICE
The first time in WEAKNESS
Second time in POWER
So We have the OLD WORLD
- Suffering
- Death
- Pain
And the NEW WORLD has begun
- Jesus is in charge
- But not fully realized
We live in the OVERLAP OF THE AGES
- Between the times
Paul lays out how God’s people are supposed to live
- View the world and their lives
This means WE DO:
- Marry
- Have jobs
- Have families
- Buy and Sell
- Grieve and Morn
- Rejoice
But we always do it in light of the future
This means that:
God is going to give you the ultimate wealth
- If you have money or not is not the BIGGEST DEAL
- Rich, don’t be too attached
- Poor, don’t be too upset – Not real wealth
You can weep – But don’t go too far in your grief
- You can morn, but don’t overdo it because God will make everything right
You can Rejoice – But don’t overdo it. It will never satisfy you
- Because you will soon experience real joy.
By pairing this KINGDOM THEOLOGY to MARRIAGE and SINGLENESS, Paul is saying…
- The ultimate FAMILY is in the future
- The ultimate MARRIAGE is in the future
Current families and relationships are just a FORTASTE
Everything we do must be done and seen in light of the future
Are you married?
- Great!
- But don’t think that your marriage is everything, it’s not
Are you single?
- Great!
- But don’t think that marriage is what will bring you real satisfaction and joy… It won’t
This kingdom theology EVENS OUT marriage and singleness
- One is not better than the other
3: Thriving in Singleness
A: Advantages of Singleness
1 Corinthians 7
32 I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But the married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband.
Singleness brings about a few advantages:
Focus
- On the kingdom of God
Flexibility
- In serving others and the kingdom of God
Freedom
- Not tied down to a place
- Can go when God says go
B: Community
Finding community can be difficult in our town/church if you are single
- But community is paramount
As a church, we must take responsibility for including in and making spaces for those who are single
- For different singleness stages
- Young
- Older
- Divorced
- With kids
- etc
One last encouragement from the words of Jesus:
Mark 10:29–31
29 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus said, “there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father[a] or children or fields for my sake and for the sake of the gospel, 30 who will not receive a hundred times more, now at this time —houses, brothers and sisters, mothers and children, and fields, with persecutions —and eternal life in the age to come. 31 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”