1 Corinthians 16:13-14

13 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 14 Let all that you do be done in love.


When men step into their purpose, everything flourishes.

Where they refuse, everything burns.


Strong Marriages are the FOUNDATION OF A STRONG SOCIETY.

  • All relationships stem from the father-mother relationship
  • These other relationships THRIVE most when the father-mother is healthy


Marriage is not…
A Prison
Your wife (spouse) is not…

  • Your ball and chain
  • Holding you back from your dreams
  • An obstacle to overcome

Marriage is a Blessing

  • It Gives life to you as a husband
  • It gives purpose to you are a husband


Marriage and Men’s health (Harvard study)

  • Married men live longer than single/divorced men
  • The longer a man stays married, the greater his survival advantage
  • Never-married men were 3x more likely to die from cardiovascular disease than married men


Marriage is not…

All About YOUR Happiness

Ephesians 5:25-26

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.


The primary purpose of Godly marriage is to make you MORE HOLY, not happier


This doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be happiness in your marriage

  • Spouse is your best friend
  • Raising children
  • Serving the Lord together


But the Goal is NOT only happiness

If you only want to be happy, get a dog; if you want purpose and fulfillment, get a wife


In Christian marriage, men are called to “GIVE HIMSELF FOR HER,” like CHRIST


Marriage makes you holy by:

  • Making your less selfish
  • Giving you Godly purpose
  • Stepping into your calling of leadership over and for your family
  • You pray harder
  • Work harder
  • Should love harder
  • In marriage

So, marriage is not a prison but one of God’s greatest blessings…


Marriage is not…

Where sex dies


1 Corinthians 7:4-5

4 A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


First, we must understand that sex is NOT the sole purpose of marriage

  • But it is a great BLESSING of marriage


God created sex FOR MARRIAGE

  • anything outside of the marriage covenant is OUTSIDE of God’s design
  • There is DESTRUCTIVE to the soul


Sex outside of marriage tears your soul and wounds you

  • It makes you hard and selfish

Culture’s Common Critiques of sex in marriage

  • When you get married, the sex stops
  • There is no excitement anymore
  • Only being with one person for the rest of your life

The Huffington Post States:

The belief that singles have more and better sex than married has become a cultural myth that researchers and sociologists are finding to be untrue and coming up with some hard evidence to substantiate this claim. While the single life is glamorized on film and on TV, the reality underlying the entertainment media’s portrayal of “the good life” is, for many people, a far cry from the picture painted by Hollywood, both in quantity and quality.

Sex 2x per week:

  • Singles 5% vs. Over 25% married


No Sex in the last year

  • 61% of singles vs. 18% of married


A problem of sex in marriage indicates a problem somewhere IN the marriage

  • It’s unresolved issues that kill sex, not marriage


So Let’s Talk about Men and Marriage


1 Peter 3:7

7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.


How should husbands HONOR their wives?


1: Honor Your Wife Physically


This means:

Leveraging your Strength for her benefit


We never:

  • Intimidate
  • Use Violence
  • Anger
  • Bully

Your wife is your ALLY and should ALWAYS be treated as such


Also, Honor her physical body through sex

  • She is not there to please you sexually
  • You are in a covenant marriage submitting to one another


Ephesians 5:29

…husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Godly men don’t use:

  • Guilt
  • Pity
  • Anger

To get sex


Your sex life should not be because she HAS TO

  • but instead, because of the MUTUAL love you share for one another


Your pursuit of her is not for SEX

  • but to HONOR her as a daughter of God


Sex is a PART of intimacy but not the GOAL of Intimacy


2: Honor your Wife Emotionally


Don’t Turn your marriage into a “JOB DESCRIPTION”

  • He does his job
  • She does hers


For many men, this is a sin of OMISSION

  • I provided
  • I didn’t cheat on her

Yes, but were you there for her EMOTIONALLY?

  • Did you listen?
  • Did you love on her? (without it leading to sex)


Find your wife’s love language (By Gary Chapman)

  • Words of affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch


Don’t give love only in the way that you need it, but as she needs it


3: Honor Your Wife Verbally


Proverbs 12:18

There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing.


This means no:

  • Backhanded compliments
  • Harsh and critical words
  • Improper talk when she is not around
  • When speaking of her with your kids


You might say, “You should hear what she says about me!”

  • Let God deal with her heart
  • You Honor God and her by not returning evil for evil


4: Honor Your Wife Financially


1 Timothy 5:8

8 But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.


Last week, we talked about how God built a desire in man to work

  • But the fall brought a curse to what God intended to be a blessing

When you get married, you take on the responsibility of providing for your wife and family

  • To sacrifice your time
  • Your Talents
  • Even your body
  • to provide for their wellbeing


But it’s not just about work…
Honoring her financially means:

  • Stewarding what you have well
  • Budgeting
  • Leading in tithing/generosity

There is no more “MY MONEY”

  • It’s YOUR money together
  • You are ONE


Closing Tips

1: As the family leader, model:

  • Humility
  • Honesty
  • Service
  • Selflessness
  • Study
  • Repentance

Your life will preach far louder than ANY SERMON


2: Make sure everyone in your house has a good AGE APPROPRIATE Bible

  • Let them see you reading your Bible

3: Make the most of your time by listening to good sermons or classes on your commute/free time

  • Be a student of your faith so you can answer your family’s questions


4: Push for Family dinner

  • Be engaged with your spouse and family

5: Pray regularly with your spouse/kids

  • Be their covering


We, men, carry a GREATER BURDEN before God for the wellbeing of our wives and family

  • They should flourish under our loving leadership

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