A Family United | Husband And Wife

Living a truly Christian life is an opportunity to experience God’s grace and provision vs living a life outside his design.

  • That means at the many crossroads of in our lives, choosing God’s way instead of our own

That is difficult because of how counterintuitive living a Jesus-centered life can be

 

This series is about family. Specifically, a family united under the authors and direction of Jesus Christ 
God is a HUGE fan of marriage and the family

  • He Created it
  • He ordained it
  • He uses it for his purposes in creation

The first command in scripture is to make a family

  • “Be fruitful and multiply…”

God has used families to accomplish his purposes throughout time

  • Noah and his family
  • Abraham and his family
  • The Old Covenant is a promise to a specific family
  • David and his family
  • Jesus and His family (Mary and James)

 

God uses broken/difficult families

  • Not perfect families

 

Our Main idea in this series is this…

A Family United in Jesus Christ is one of the most potent tools for advancing God’s Kingdom

 

Today is about Marriage

  • Husband and Wife

 

Marriage is:

  • Holy
  • Worthwhile
  • Worth Fighting For
  • Designed and loved by God
  • A mirror of Christ and the church
  • A reenactment of grace
  • Picture of God’s sacrificial love

As the family goes, so does the culture

 

If God uses the family, then the enemy of God will do everything in its power to destroy the family

 

First, let’s understand the basic principle of Biblical marriage

 

In the very beginning, God laid out the pattern and result of marriage…

 

Genesis 2

24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

 

1: 1+1=1 Becoming One Flesh

 

1 Corinthians 7:3-5

3 A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another—except when you agree for a time, to devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again; otherwise, Satan may tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Few things to note here:
1 – The instruction is to “GIVE” Rather than “TAKE”

  • Our selfish nature  always wants to take

2 – Paul is putting absolute equality of the Husband And Wife

  • Cultures tended to put the wife as property, and Paul say no, Each has a duty to the othe

3 – Sex is vital to a healthy marriage

  • Sex is never to be weaponized
  • Sex is not a bartering system
  • Sex is not owned just by the Male – Good for both
  • Sex IS first and foremost about intimate friendship
  • It is about cleaving to your God-given other
  • It is about becoming “one flesh”

 

This view of sex was REVOLUTIONARY
ONE FLESH means that you are NOT LONGER YOUR OWN

  • You have willingly given yourself to another
  • You are NOT an Independent agent anymore
  • Every decision you make, you make with YOUR OTHER in-mind

 

2: A Family United With Order

 

God is a God of order

  • Sin is chaos and destruction

God created, sin destroys because it is the opposite of God

 

God has an order for the family

 

Ephesians 5

15 Pay careful attention, then, to how you walk—not as unwise people but as wise— 16 making the most of the time, because the days are evil. 17 So don’t be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 And don’t get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit: 19 speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music with your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in fear of Christ.
Paul is instructing Christian believers to Watch Their Walk

  • Finishes with a general command

SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF FEAR OF CHRIST (or Reverence for…)

  • Pride of position and authority is destructive to relationships
  • We are ALL UNDER CHRIST as Christian believers

There must be a willingness in the Christian fellowship to serve any, to learn from any, and to be corrected by any, regardless of age, sex, class, or any other division

  • No one is above the other
  • We all serve one another
  • Honor is ok, but worship is not

 

What does this have to do with marriage?

  • Paul then shifts gears and starts giving practical application

 

Ephesians 5

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body.

 

Not anyone’s favorite verse

  • Remember, Paul, is working out an application to the previous “Submit to one Another”

Who is this verse, written to?

  • Wives…
  • Not to be used to “PUT WOMEN IN THEIR PLACE”

 

First, what Biblical submission is NOT?

 

1: Submission is not putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ

  • Your first priority is Jesus and his will
  • Never submit to anyone who is asking us to sin willingly

 

2: Submission does not mean you do not try to influence your husband

  • …if we can’t agree, the Husband is going to make the call.
  • Helping them be better by setting an example

 

3: Submission is not a passive silence

  • Should make your opinions and feelings known
  • Not “I told you so” when he is wrong

 

What is biblical Submission?
A wife should be willing to yield to her husband’s authority and should be inclined to follow his lead

 

Now the Husbands…

Ephesians 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.
During the ministry of Jesus, there is this powerful moment

  • During the last supper, as Judas was going out to betray him
  • Knowing he was about to be arrested, beaten, and killed

In a moment when Jesus SHOULD have been overwhelmed by what was about to happen TO HIM…

 

Instead, he got up

  • Grabbed a towel
  • Got a large bowl of water
  • Went to each disciple and started washing their feet

 

Think about how uncomfortable this would have been

  • They had seen this man heal people
  • Speak with authority to the most powerful people
  • Raise the dead
  • They had promised their life to him

 

And here he is washing the literal horse crap off their feet

 

At this moment, the one with ALL THE POWER chose to serve the ones with NO POWER

 

This is the calling of a husband, to NEVER lord your strength over his wife, but to serve her as Christ has served you

  • to Love Sacrificially as Christ has served you
  • To forgive as Christ has forgiven you

 

Men are called to be the representation of Jesus to their family

  • To love like Jesus
  • To serve like Jesus
  • Speak truth like Jesus
  • To lead like Jesus

 

I am convinced that so many kids walk away from faith because of the lack of Jesus’ reflection in their fathers

  • I believe so many marriages fail because of men who do not reflect Jesus back to their wives

Instead of washing her with the truth and the love of God, they are washing in rejection, loneliness, hatred, control, and spite

 

Marriage is a HOLY CALLING

  • When you take on a wife, you become a priest of your home

What does this look like practically?
I’ve heard a pastor say it this way…

Marriage is a SUBMISSION COMPETITION

  • submitting to one another

 

Loan one another your strengths rather than reminding each other of their weaknesses

 

The best question you can ask

What can I do to Help?

  • How can i carry your burden today?
  • How can I prioritize you today>
  • How can I help make things easier
  • How can I loan my strength to you today

 

This runs against our self-centeredness

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