A Famly United | Dating and Family Threats

There are things that we say because we’re supposed to

  • When Someone Shows you a picture of their baby
  • When your spouse asks how you look in an outfit
  • When a friend is being hard on themselves


When it comes to family, there are things that, as a pastor, I’m supposed to say…



  • Marriage is important
  • Marriage is hard but worth it
  • Kids are a blessing from God
  • Don’t date someone unless you intend to marry them


But our culture also says things

  • Marriage is hard – If it doesn’t make you happy, find someone who will
  • Kids are a burden and keep you from achieving all that you want/can
  • Date around to see what you like – Have fun while your young
  • Live with someone first to see if you are compatible


When it comes to truths such as this, they both cannot be true

  • So we need to decide what is true

Of course, as a pastor, and as Christians, We know what the “RIGHT” answers often are

  • But often we are not following what we “KNOW” to be right


If you are in a hard marriage place

  • God’s has so much grace
  • Love you and your spouse
  • Wants to see your marriage thrive
  • Single again
  • God sees your pain
  • He sees your Loneliness
  • Wants you to find yourself in HIM and not in another


Whatever we talk about today is not to condemn you

  • You are not your past
  • You are who God says you are
  • In HIM, you can overcome the worst of things


John 8:31-32

31 Then Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you continue in my word, you really are my disciples. 32 You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”


We will cover these things:

1: Dating

  • Even if you are not dating now, you still need to hear


2: Dangers facing the Family Today

1: Dating


Let’s look at a few phrases:

  • hookup culture
  • Sowing your wild oats
  • Playing the Field
  • Having a true college experience
  • Friends with benefits


Let’s take the first few…

  • Hookup culture/Playing the field


Since the Late 60’s/Early 70’s, the sexual revolution has brought the sexual revolution to the world

  • Since that time, premarital sex has increased every decade

But there are many problems this brings

  • The most startling is how premarital sex leads to significantly more chance of divorce…


Often, the reason that so many sexual partners happen is commitment issues.

There’s this idea that ‘once I find a really good relationship, then I’ll commit to it.’ That’s backward. Without commitment, there’s no such thing as a ‘really good relationship.’


But what about committed relationships that aren’t married…



1. Married adults are more likely than cohabiting adults to report relationship satisfaction


2. Married adults are also more likely to report higher levels of relationship commitment than cohabiting adults


3. Finally, married adults are more likely than cohabiting adults to report higher levels of relationship stability

Cohabitating relationships are significantly more likely to break up than married relationships, including cohabiting unions that include children. ~ Institute for Family Studies


So why is this true?

  • What does Christian scripture tell us about dating, marriage, and happiness?


Proverbs 5:1-14

1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen closely to my understanding

2 so that you may maintain discretion and your lips safeguard knowledge.

3 Though the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey and her words are[b] smoother than oil,

4 in the end she’s as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a double-edged sword.

5 Her feet go down to death; her steps head straight for Sheol.

6 She doesn’t consider the path of life; she doesn’t know that her ways are unstable.

7 So now, sons, listen to me, and don’t turn away from the words from my mouth.

8 Keep your way far from her. Don’t go near the door of her house.

9 Otherwise, you will give up your vitality to others and your years to someone cruel;

10 strangers will drain your resources, and your hard-earned pay will end up in a foreigner’s house.

11 At the end of your life, you will lament when your physical body has been consumed,

12 and you will say, “How I hated discipline, and how my heart despised correction.

13 I didn’t obey my teachers or listen closely to my instructors.

14 I am on the verge of complete ruin before the entire community.”


Don’t be seduced by the world’s version of Dating

  • It is a world of brokenness and death


Date with a purpose in mind

  • God’s purpose for your like


Tips for dating with Purpose:

1 – Date with marriage in mind

  • Can’t see yourself marrying them, then don’t date them


2 – Keep boundaries and don’t trust yourself

  • Set good physical and emotional boundaries
  • Have someone outside your relationship keep you accountable
  • Be humble in that accountability


3 – Only date someone who is a believer

  • Can’t “date them into the kingdom”
  • Purse God individually and you will grow together

2: Dangers facing the Family Today


1: Anti-Christian Culture


Our culture is quickly moving from the Christian system of morality and belief

  • Fewer and fewer family and friends of our children have a Christian worldview
  • What is taught in the church must be reinforced in the home
  • Children reflect on what they see


2: Divorce

“Divorce appears to have a bigger impact on children’s educational attainment than parental death.”


3: Busyness


Satan uses busyness to think we are being productive

  • Our relationships, our families, and our churches are faltering.
  • Church attendance is at an all-time low


4: Lack of Father Figure


A study that focused on Sunday school

  • When both parents attend Bible study in addition to the Sunday service, 72% of their children attend Sunday school when grown.
  • When only the father attends Sunday school, 55% of the children attend when grown.
  • When only the mother attends Sunday school, 15% of the children attend when grown.
  • When neither parent attends Sunday school, only 6% of the children attend when grown.


5: Financial Pressures


Everything is more expensive puts added pressure on the marriage relationships

  • Cost of living increases
  • Trying to keep up with everyone else


Younger couples are waiting longer and cohabitating more due to financial issues


6: Negative Media Influences
Being desensitized to the things that are not of God

  • Agendas on TV, internet, and News



  • Easier now than ever to access
  • Does real damage to your brain
  • This leads to more loneliness
  • This leads to dissatisfaction in married sex life


7: Balance of Work and Family


Mom and Dad tired

  • Kids begin to make decisions for themselves that should be made by parents
  • Kids are being raised by culture because parents’ focus is elsewhere

Husband and wife leading separate busy lives having little time and energy for each other

So How can we combat all this?


1: Know that what we face has been faced by Christians before


1 Corinthians 10:13

13 No temptation has come upon you except what is common to humanity. But God is faithful; he will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to bear it.


2: Have friendships that protect you and help you grow

1 Corinthians 15:33

33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.”

3: Be very careful of what or who you allow into your home


1 Peter 5:8

8 Be sober-minded, be alert. Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.


4: Put God First in every aspect of your life

Matthew 6:33

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.

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