Blueprints | A Healthy Family’s Code For Care | Cornerstone Church

The final week of our series:

Blueprints: God’s Design for Church and Family
Week 1: Blueprints for God’s Design of Family

A Healthy Family is God’s Blueprint for human flourishing

Individuals and the church

Week 2: Laying The Foundation For Healthy Families

Biblical Values form a strong foundation for healthy families

Week 3: Quality Framing for Quality Families

Christian Maturity is the quality that sets apart healthy families

This series has been about…

What works for YOUR FAMILY works for the church family

What works for the CHURCH FAMILY works for your family

Our “HOUSE” is almost complete

There is one last thing before it’s complete…
A final walk-through INSPECTION

Picks out things that may have been missed
Things that were done wrong

The Importance of a BUILDING CODE

Sets a standard of EXPECTATION

Same as a job code of conduct
etc

When things aren’t done to code, the LOWEST BAR becomes the standard

Dangerous
Cheap
Lazy way out

A house built to code is a safe home

A Safe Home is a GOOD HOME
The same happens in our relationships

When codes differ, disappointment is always the result
Let’s not just think about what a code “IS”

But what a good code LEADS TO

Let’s think about it this way…

A Proper CODE leads to PROPER CARE

It makes sure things are safe

Today, we are talking about:

A Healthy Family’s Code For Care

Corinthians were a mess…

In a very pagan city
Primary God was a sex deity
Struggling with maturity
Arguing over meaningless things…

Paul writes…

1 Corinthians 12:12-21

12 For just as the body is one and has many parts, and all the parts of that body, though many, are one body—so also is Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free—and we were all given one Spirit to drink. 14 Indeed, the body is not one part but many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I’m not a hand, I don’t belong to the body,” it is not for that reason any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I’m not an eye, I don’t belong to the body,” it is not for that reason any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But as it is, God has arranged each one of the parts in the body just as he wanted. 19 And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body. 21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” Or again, the head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you!”
Codes for a healthy family…

CODE #1: Acknowledge And Respect One Another’s Differences

Comparing your kids to one another

Data says:

Sibling comparison often leads to conflict and rivalries. Unresolved, these can have extensive consequences, including:

Being perceived as someone who shows off and brags a lot
Constantly competing for parental attention
Pressuring parents to choose their side in sibling conflicts
Failing to treat their siblings as adults and equals
Treating their brothers and sisters as enemies
Sabotaging their siblings’ lives, relationships, and work
Belittling their siblings to make them feel inadequate

Corinthian Church was caught in a “COMPARISON TRAP“

Prophecy
Tongues
Healing
Faith
Wisdom
etc

Comparison leads to FAMILY CODE VIOLATIONS (Church or Family)

Jealousy
Bitterness
Showboating

Family Examples:

Husband and wife not working together leveraging strengths rather than focus on weakness
We use our strengths to cover the other’s weaknesses
Parents comparing kids — To one another, to themselves

Church Examples:

Similar to the Corinthian church

So, Paul uses the example of the HUMAN BODY

Many parts that work TOGETHER

1 Corinthians 12:24-26

Instead, God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the less honorable, 25 so that there would be no division in the body, but that the members would have the same concern for each other. 26 So if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
We celebrate differences
God is creative in his creation

Places and people
“No Jew/Gentile” No “Slave/free”
One family

What is the primary way we overcome our differences and work together?

How do we overcome comparison?

Paul Writes…

1 Corinthians 13

13 If I speak human or angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 And if I give away all my possessions, and if I give over my body in order to boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, (Uncomplaining, Long-suffering, Composed)

love is kind. (Generous, Considerate)

Love does not envy, (Not Resentful, Not Jealous)

is not boastful, (Not Puffed Up, Not Overbearing)

is not arrogant, (Not Full of yourself, Not Egotistical)

5 is not rude, (Polite, is Civil, Not “In your face”)

is not self-seeking, (Not Individualistic, Not selfish. It’s Mature)

is not irritable, (Not Testy, Not Grumpy, Not Whinny)

and does not keep a record of wrongs. (Ledger of past hurts)

6 Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Codes for a healthy family…

Code #2: Sacrificially Love One Another

Paul gives one of the best descriptions of CHRISTIAN LOVE

This love is unique to Christians

Christian love is ACTIVE

Not a feeling but a set of positive actions

Love does NOT always mean agreeing

Our culture has highjacked the meaning of love

Love is COMPASSION, and CARE

Telling someone they are wrong can be GREAT COMPASSION
Done in love

Code Violations:

Constant Impatience
Continual Harshness
Envy
Constant Bragging
Rudeness
Always self-seeking
Continual Irritability
Always keeping a record of wrongs
Bearing nothing
Believing nothing
Hoping nothing
Enduring nothing

This passage sums up this series so well

1 Peter 2